Got ADHD? Remember to Remember These!

Here are the top 3 things that adults with ADHD (and even clinicians) most commonly forget or underestimate about the condition.

This is based on both research and what adults in the ADHD community repeatedly say:

1. It's not just "can't focus", it's can't regulate attention: Most people think ADHD = inability to pay attention. In reality, adults with ADHD can hyperfocus for hours on interesting things, but can't reliably direct or sustain attention on boring/important tasks. They forget that the core issue is inconsistent attention regulation, not a global attention deficit. This is why "just try harder" never works and feels insulting.

2. Emotional dysregulation is a core symptom (not a side effect) Many adults are diagnosed late because they (and doctors) focus only on the "hyper/inattentive" criteria from childhood. What gets missed:

   • Intense emotions that flare up and vanish quickly

   • Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (extreme sensitivity to perceived criticism)

   • Chronic feelings of overwhelm, shame, and "I'm lazy/broken". Up to 70% of adults with ADHD have emotional dysregulation as their most impairing symptom, yet it's barely mentioned in basic ADHD education.

3. Executive function deficits affect everything (not just work/school) People often think: "I'm messy and late, that's my ADHD." They forget how deeply executive dysfunction screws with:

   • Starting or finishing basic life tasks (showering, eating, replying to texts)

   • Working memory (constantly forgetting what you walked into a room for, losing keys/wallet/phone daily)

   • Time blindness (thinking "5 minutes" when it's actually been 2 hours)

   • Self-motivation & dopamine regulation (needing urgency/deadlines/novelty to function). This is why many adults feel like they're "faking being a functional adult" even when they're successful in some areas.

Bonus (runners-up that almost made the list):

• Object permanence issues ("out of sight, out of mind" applies to people/tasks too)

• Sleep problems are part of ADHD (delayed sleep phase syndrome is extremely common)

• ADHD doesn't go away when you sit still or grow up, it just looks different

These blind spots are why so many adults go undiagnosed until their 30s-50s and think "I can't have ADHD, I got good grades/got promoted/etc."

ADHD is way more than the stereotype.

References

Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.

Cortese, S. (2025). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in adults: Evidence base, uncertainties and controversies. World Psychiatry, 24(3), 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.21374

Douglas, V. I. (1999). Cognitive deficits in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Evidence from attentional, working memory, and processing speed tasks. In Handbook of disruptive behavior disorders (pp. 65–92). Springer.

Faraone, S. V., Banaschewski, T., Coghill, D., Zheng, Y., Biederman, J., Bellgrove, M. A., Newcorn, J. H., Gignac, M., Al Saud, N. M., Manor, I., Rohde, L. A., Yang, L., Cortese, S., & Almagor, D. (2021). The world federation of ADHD international consensus statement: 208 evidence-based conclusions about the disorder. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 128, 789–818. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.01.022

Mitchell, J. T., McIntyre, E. M., English, J. S., Dennis, M. F., Beckham, J. C., & Kollins, S. H. (2017). A pilot trial of mindfulness meditation training for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adulthood: Impact on core symptoms, executive functioning, and emotion dysregulation. Journal of Attention Disorders, 21(13), 1105–1120. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713513328

Orban, S. A., Rapport, M. D., Fried, R., Kofler, M. J., Raiker, J. S., & Eckrich, S. J. (2018). Functional impairments in youth with ADHD: A preliminary investigation. Journal of Attention Disorders, 22(12), 1166–1176. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054716659122

Pritchard, A. (2021). The attention “deficit” myth. Attention Magazine, 49(3), 12–15.

Shaw, P., Eckstrand, K., Sharp, W., Blumenthal, J., Lerch, J. P., Greenstein, D., Clasen, L., Evans, A., Giedd, J., & Rapoport, J. L. (2007). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a delay in cortical maturation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 104(49), 19649–19654. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0707741104

Sibley, M. H., Mitchell, J. T., & Becker, S. P. (2023). “Dysregulated not deficit”: A qualitative study on symptomatology of ADHD in young adults. Journal of Attention Disorders, 27(10), 1123–1133. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547231174748

Solanto, M. V. (2011). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for adult ADHD: Targeting executive dysfunction. Guilford Press.