What Elon Musk’s Regret Teaches Us About Self-Regulation

When Elon Musk admitted regret over some of his social media posts about Donald Trump, it sparked more than just headlines. It opened a window into the very human struggle of self-regulation, a challenge that’s especially relevant for neurodiverse individuals. Musk, who has spoken openly about being neurodivergent, showed the world that even the most accomplished minds can act impulsively and later wish they’d paused to reflect.

But what if there was a simple, practical way to build that pause into our daily lives?

Enter the PAST process, a four-step self-regulation tool that’s at the heart of the Willful Steps coaching approach.

Let’s explore what Musk’s experience can teach us, how neurodiverse people can benefit from learning to self-regulate, and how the PAST process makes this growth possible.

The Challenge of Self-Regulation (Even for Elon Musk)

Self-regulation means managing our emotions, impulses, and actions so they align with our values and long-term goals. For neurodiverse individuals, such as those with ADHD, autism, or sensory processing differences, this can be especially tough. Differences in executive function, emotional reactivity, or sensory sensitivity can make it harder to pause before acting.

Elon Musk’s public regret over his posts is a powerful example. He acknowledged that his words “went too far,” and expressed a wish that he’d handled things differently. This kind of honest reflection is the first step in self-regulation: recognising that our actions have consequences, and that we have the power to choose a different path next time.

Why Self-Regulation Matters for Neurodiverse Individuals

For neurodiverse people, self-regulation isn’t just about avoiding mistakes or apologies. It’s about:

• Building self-awareness: Noticing emotional triggers and bodily sensations.

• Managing impulses: Catching ourselves before we act on strong feelings.

• Reflecting and learning: Understanding what works and what doesn’t in our responses.

• Growing confidence: Trusting ourselves to handle challenges thoughtfully.

Without these skills, it’s easy to get stuck in cycles of regret, conflict, or missed opportunities, whether on social media or in everyday life.

The PAST Process: A Practical Tool for Self-Regulation

At Willful Steps, we use the PAST process to help neurodiverse individuals build self-regulation in a simple, memorable way. Here’s how it works:

Pause

The first step is to stop and notice what’s happening. When you feel a strong emotion or urge, like the impulse to post something online, give yourself a moment. Take a breath. This pause is powerful: it creates space between feeling and action.

Accept

Next, acknowledge what you’re feeling without judgement. Maybe you’re angry, excited, or anxious. Remind yourself: “It’s okay to feel this way.” Acceptance helps reduce shame and defensiveness, making it easier to move forward.

Shift

Now, use a strategy to move from reactivity to balance. This could be deep breathing, positive self-talk, a sensory tool, or simply stepping away for a minute. The goal is to shift your state so you can respond thoughtfully, not impulsively.

Track

Finally, reflect on what happened. What worked? What didn’t? How did your strategy help? Tracking your experiences helps you learn and grow, so you’re better prepared next time.

How Coaching Supports the PAST Process

While the PAST process is simple, putting it into practice, especially in the heat of the moment, can be hard.

That’s where coaching comes in. A neurodiversity-informed coach provides:

• A safe, non-judgemental space to explore your unique challenges and strengths.

• Guidance and accountability as you practice using PAST in real-life situations.

• Personalised strategies tailored to your sensory, emotional, and cognitive needs.

• Encouragement to reflect, learn, and celebrate progress (not just perfection).

Coaching isn’t about “fixing” neurodiversity—it’s about empowering individuals to harness their strengths and navigate challenges with confidence.

Lessons from Musk: The Power of Pause and Reflection

Elon Musk’s public reflection is a reminder that we all benefit from building a pause into our reactions. Imagine if, before posting, he’d paused, accepted his feelings, shifted his state, and then tracked the outcome. The regret he expressed could have been replaced by a sense of self-mastery and alignment with his values.

For neurodiverse individuals, learning to use the PAST process can be life-changing. It turns impulsive moments into opportunities for growth and self-understanding.

It helps break the cycle of regret and empowers you to respond, rather than react, to life’s challenges.

Why PAST Works for Neurodiverse Brains

• It’s simple: Four steps, easy to remember and use in the moment.

• It’s flexible: Works for emotional, sensory, or behavioural self-regulation.

• It’s empowering: Encourages learning from every experience—not just aiming for perfection.

By practising PAST with the support of coaching, neurodiverse individuals can build the self-regulation skills that lead to better relationships, more success, and greater self-confidence.

Ready to Take Your Next Willful Step?

If you or your child struggles with impulsivity, emotional overwhelm, or regret, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. The PAST process, combined with supportive coaching, can help you build the skills to pause, accept, shift, and track your way to a more empowered, authentic life.

Elon Musk’s story reminds us that self-regulation is a journey, not a destination.

With the right tools and support, every step you take is a step toward greater self-awareness and success.

Ready to explore how PAST and Willful Steps coaching can help you or your family?

Reach out today and take your next willful step toward growth.